Personally, I have been striving for a Perfect 10 at home.
For any dudes out there who have a permanent place on your wife’s Sh*t List, say “AY!!!!!!”
As you may know, we had a baby at the end of last year. That’s a lot of work, especially for a working mom who is breastfeeding.
So let’s just say it’s very easy for me to screw up and confirm my latest reservation on The Sh*t List.
This past weekend, I said to my wife, “I’m going for a Nadia! I am going to get a Perfect 10 this weekend with no screw ups!”
She looked at me dubiously, as the Olympic judges probably eyed little Nadia before her now legendary routine.
The day started off and I changed a diaper. I even threw it away (which I usually forget).
I dressed baby Remo (or tried). See pic.
I put on music that my wife likes (instead of the usual Journey…c’mon you know you wanna hear it!).
I made her a Matcha tea.
I babysat so she could go out and get a manicure (as in…I was quiet on the couch while the baby slept).
I even did the laundry.
As of 3:00pm on Saturday, I was scoring a Perfect 10. All I needed to do was “stick the landing” and finish the day right.
I took the baby for an afternoon walk in the stroller and was gloating in my perfection.
My wife opened the door and held up one of Remo’s little sweaters.
“What a great baby gift. Who sent that?” I asked.
“It’s not a baby gift. This is my cashmere sweater that you put in the dryer causing it to shrink.”
Boom, clank, kerplunk, shabang, zzzzzzzzplat!
Let’s just say Nadia tumbled into the scorer’s table and stood up, her leotard ripped, her hair awry, the makeup streaming down her upper lip to reveal her lady mustache.
I sadly said to my wife, “Hey, at least the baby can wear it now.”
She begrudgingly tried to put in on the baby. It didn’t even fit and he’s only 18 weeks old.
Over the past few months when I’ve barely had a free second in the day…
…I have realized the type of self-help that I have written about for the past decade is largely irrelevant to the grand majority of the population.
So I want to apologize for having my head up my a$$ for the last decade!
What we need is a new intention, not a new smoothie recipe, yoga sequence, or retreat to Swaziland.
And that intention is: Be Deeper, Not Better.
Better is a qualification, a standard, a goal.
And those are things that make time even more scarce.
DEEPER is the most authentic version of you.
Deeper is the most loving version of you.
Deeper is the version of you willing to admit what is wrong, weak, tired…and admire what is strong, true, and right.
How can you live deeper?
1. Do one thing at a time.
While a busy day means a lot of things…it’s when they all blend into one blob of action that we lose our sanity.
Whatever you are doing, do it with the utmost of your capacity, passion, and attention.
In other words, if you are doing laundry, don’t also be watching an ESPN 30 for 30 on Netflix which caused me to put the cashmere sweater in the dryer.
2. Use Your Precious Free Time to Open, Not Close
Even if you have just 14 minutes to yourself, use it to release and relax.
During your precious free time, consider music, content, something that allows you to open up rather than close off (like scary news on CNN).
3. Never lose sight of GREATNESS
Legendary restauranteur Pollyanna Forster said, “If you want to get something done, give it to someone who’s busy.”
I’m not sure if she invented the quote but she taught it to me. So in my book, she becomes Jedi Quotemaster.
Point being, busy can be good if you leverage it.
In the midst of your busyness…can you live the mantra “I CAN AND I WILL” rather than “I CAN’T AND I WON’T.”
So you might be wondering if I’m still on The Sh*t List…
I may be for lack of perfection. But not for lack of heart.
Perfection wins the short races.
But in the long arc of time, heart beats perfection again and again and again!