Who Stole the C from Fuker?

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My good friend was called into his boss’s office the other day. It seemed ominous and he was very nervous.

The boss said, “I was contacted by the head of security. We need to talk.”

My friend said his heart dropped.

The boss continued, “Do you know what you did?”

My friend’s mind raced through the possibilities.

Had he spent too much time on Facebook?

Was it that lewd email his college friend sent him last week?

Oh My God, did they see the pictures of his trip to Vegas? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!

The boss said, “You clicked on an internet phishing email and could have compromised the company’s security.  We warned everyone about this!”

We get them all the time. You receive an email that seems like it’s from a familiar company…United Airlines, Starbucks, AT&T. They ask you to click and check out their holiday sale.

And then….BOOM!  A virus enters your computer, steals your info, and you are F-U-K-E-D! Where’s the “c”? They stole that too!

But it’s not just an internet scam. It’s happening all around you.

Almost every article, every social media post, every advertisement…sneaks into your mind and releases a virus of fear, aspiration or desire that infects you.

I scrolled through Instagram and noticed the incessant product pushing, pose perfecting, and food gospling. I thought, “I gotta put more work into getting more followers and building my social media.”

I clicked on ESPN.com to look at the score of last night’s game and saw an ad from Lincoln. I thought, “I’m going to need a new car next year. Matthew McConaughey drives a Lincoln. Maybe I should get a Lincoln.”

I looked through my emails and everyone is offering a Black Friday sale. I thought, “I better get ready to buy! And I better offer my own Black Friday sale (see below).”

Not to mention, I live in NYC and there are muscled Counterterrorism cops with massive guns on almost every subway. I thought, “I hope I survive the holidays!”

As we round the corner to Thanksgiving, I barely stand a chance at this gratitude thing. I’m a wreck, a head case! Everyone is phishing for a piece of my attention…and my sanity.

Last night my wife asked if we should dare fly home for Thanksgiving? Since when is it a “dare” to fly home on the holidays?  That’s what I mean by “infection.”

If you can relate and your peace of mind is almost non-existent…

I’m gonna do something I have never done before on Thanksgiving. I’m going to overwhelm Lincoln, and Instagram, not to mention ISIS. Here’s what I’m gonna do:


From now through Thanksgiving, I’m going to share my gratitude with everyone I come in contact with…

…the Barista, YOU (if you reply to this), my family, the lady who recommends my next bottle of wine, my son (he knows ‘sharing’ but gratitude will be new for him), the taxi driver, the cashier at my favorite lunch spot in Brooklyn, EVERYONE!

I’m turning up the volume AS HIGH AS IT CAN F-U-K-I-N GO.

If we are going to stand a chance at developing piece of mind in this CRAZY, CRAZY world, we are going to need to dig really deep and come from a brighter and more beautiful place

Granted, there is a salve to Thanksgiving. Indulgence and football.  And hey, indulgence and football are heavenly!

But they only last a short time before the meal and the games are over and we are back to work, back to Instagram, back to terror alerts…

Now more than ever, your family, coworkers, friends,  community…the whole world needs you to be in a better place than ever before.



God knows how many websites you will look at today, and I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read this one.

Until we hopefully meet again next week…

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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