There’s a story that took place in Vancouver on February 2…something so powerful that I have to share it.
A man in the above photo got onto the Skytrain and was cussing and screaming at people.
This is often the behavior of an addict or someone who is mentally disturbed.
People on the train were starting to move away from him, as I might have done.
And then a 70 year old woman, seated next to this man, reached over and grabbed his hand.
Suddenly, the man stopped screaming and cussing…and started crying.
They sat together, holding hands, in silence, for twenty minutes.
Then, the man said “Thanks Grandma” and got off the train.
A bystander asked the woman why she did it.
She responded, “He seemed like he needed someone to hold and I didn’t want him to feel so alone.”
Next week I’m moving with my family from NYC to Los Angeles. More on that in a coming blog.
It’s a big move, and a lot of change all at once.
We’ve been looking for a new nanny, and in the process, doing a lot of interviews and checking references.
I joked to my wife this morning, “How come people don’t check their fiancee’s references before getting married?”
Can you imagine doing that?
“Well before you marry her, you should know…she’s amazing, loyal, hard-working, wonderful…but those bad mood swings. Wow. They’re pretty bad. Actually, they’re terrible. I mean, she’s amazing. Truly amazing. But those moods…when that happens, you need a place to hide. As long as you can handle that, and have a place to hide, you’ll be fine. Also keep her away from the hard liquor.”
“So you want be with him? Forever? Ok. Here’s what I learned. Great human being. Very thoughtful. Wonderful person. But he can be a real jerk sometimes. It’s manageable. You just have to manage the jerkiness. He’s really great on the weekends. But the weekdays are a crapshoot. And he doesn’t cook!”
What would you be looking for in a reference about your partner? I’d have to say one thing would be key.
“He or she will love you with all their heart. If you need something else, I’m not sure. But if love is what you’re looking for, you’re gonna get TONS AND TONS of love!”
We forget how much we all need love. Not the symbolism of love. Real love!
Sure it’s one thing to know you’ve got someone out there who loves you or who is sleeping next to you at night.
But when is the last time you got a SQUEEZE like the man on the train in Vancouver?
I gotta tell you…I could relate to that guy.
There are times when I want to LASH OUT. There are times when I feel very frustrated. There are times where I feel like the amount of freedom I have is getting its a$s kicked by the demands of life.
All of that is healed by a SQUEEZE.
A girl in high school asked her classmates if she could do a quick interview. One by one, they sat in front of the camera, most of them were very annoyed and impatient, as high school kids can be.
And the girl told each of them the purpose of her project, “I”m taking pictures of things I find beautiful. and that means YOU.”
If you watch the reaction on the high school kids’ faces, it’s the most wonderful thing you’ve ever seen. They melt. Their angst dissolves. Their heart explodes.
When is the last time someone told you something really nice?
That is what I mean by a SQUEEZE.
It’s all we really need to turn today around.
If you are overcomplicating your relationships, do yourself, your kids, your partner, everyone a giant favor.
Trust in love to heal wounds, to solve problems, to turn a mundane day into a really, really special one.