Meet My Zen Master

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After 20 years in wellness, one thing is clear.

Happiness is tricky.

People who seem to have all their ducks in a row…great family, awesome career, beautiful home…often are not as happy as you’d think.

And people who do not have their ducks in a row…no family, struggling career, sleeping on a friend’s couch…often are much happier than you’d think.

In all my searching, blogging, workshopping, and traveling…I have stumbled upon a formula for true happiness.

I call this formala….THE TRIFECTA.

It is a balance of physical vitality, professional significance, and a loving relationship.

Most people I know have nailed two of the three.

They have a great career, and loving relationship, but they let their physical health slide.

Or they have achieved professional significance and they are in great shape but things at home are not exactly great.

Or they have a strong marriage and physical vitality but their career just can’t quite get going.

It’s very, very rare to achieve all three. I can think of one, maybe two people I know who have found a way to wrap their arms around The Trifecta.

So as you ponder, let’s lay the cards on the table.

1. Loving Relationship

A long term relationship can bring up some serious frustrations and resentments.

But, as Joel Osteen said, when you achieve unity at home, you 10X your power!

2. Physical Vitality

This means that you experience your body as a luxury vehicle, not a prison.

As we age, It’s hard to keep up with the growing belly. And a little extra blubber on the belly doesn’t seem to impact your family life or career success.

But how much more AWESOME would you feel if your body was your ally?!

3. Professional Significance

Author John Maxwell said something very interesting.

“Significance is very different from success. Significance means that you are adding value to others lives. Once you taste significance, you won’t care about success anymore.”

So…

…you figure you’ve got two of the three…that’s enough. It would be such a pain in the as$ to achieve all three.

BUT… there’s a shortcut to solve all three without making any crazy changes to your lifestyle.

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Last weekend I walked by a lady selling books on the street in the East Village.

She had some great titles by Joseph Campbell, Hemingway, etc. I picked up an old copy of Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryū Suzuki.

This book is a CLASSIC and the pages were old, authentic, everything you’d hope for in a book about Zen.

I handed the lady $7 and she handed me the book and as a bonus, a beautiful bookmark, handmade.

I started reading and a few pages in, the author Shunryu Suzuki explains the Zen secret to success, health, and love.

He says, “usually, without being aware of it, we try to change something other than ourselves, we try to order things outside us. But it is impossible to organize things if you yourself are not in order. You are the boss. When the boss is sleeping, everyone is sleeping. When the boss does something right, every will do everything right, and at the right time. that is the secret.”

As the Zen Master says, “if you slump, you lose yourself. and happiness is a result of owning yourself.”

It’s just like the movie The Karate Kid when the wizened master Mr. Miyagi has Ralph Macchio master the most basic life skills.

“Wax on. Wax off.”

Just this moment.

Just this breath.

We spend so much time trying to solve the most complex issues at work and in love. How can that be possible when we can’t even solve ourselves?

Wax on. Wax off.

Just this moment.

Just this breath.

If you are still with me and still reading this…instead of trying to juggle work, family, exercise…just focus on one thing. TAKING CARE OF YOU. The rest will come naturally.

Wax on. Wax off.

Just this moment.

Just this breath.

Throughout today, try this. Bring the absolute fullness of your attention to the moment you’re in and the person you’re with. That’s the very best any of us can do.

When you are all there, you’ll eat the right amount, you’ll say the right thing, you’ll be…truly…deeply…happy.

Just this moment.

Just this breath.

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