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Tantric massage is an erotic massage practice that has grown in popularity in recent years since its invention in 1970’s California. It is based on a combination of Indian rituals, Hinduism, and Buddhism which date back to the early 5th century.
Tantra teaches of the strong link between the physical and spiritual self and encourages you to nurture both to achieve self-awareness and a higher level of spiritual awareness. Tantric massage is a more physical interpretation of tantra and works on the premise that by relaxing the body you can please the spirit.
The focus is on the chakras in the body and is a process that should be done slowly and sensually.
As tantric massage swept across the Western world, the eroticism of the massage became the focus. The massage covers all areas of the body and is often performed in the nude. The massage explores the genital region and this is known as either a lingam (penis) or yoni (vagina) massage depending on what sex it is performed on. Despite tantra’s reputation in the media for causing hour-long orgasms, this should not be the goal and your massage should focus solely on pleasing your partner.
People have said that if the massage is performed correctly, you will feel as though all physical boundaries have disappeared and you are in a state of complete peace. Experts recommend setting aside a decent chunk of time for the massage to ensure it doesn’t feel rushed.
No matter what, it is suggested to perform a lingam/yoni massage for a minimum of 30 minutes and up to an hour and a half.
Benefits of tantric massage
- Stress reduction
- Improves quality of sleep
- Increases sexual stamina
- Makes orgasms more intense
- Increased spiritual awareness
- Pain relief
- Can help to heal emotional trauma
How to prepare
The atmosphere is of vital importance to the effectiveness of the massage. It is important that both the giver and receiver feel at peace, and the environment is considered in terms of temperature, look, sound, feel, and smell. It is a good idea to do this where you know you will not be interrupted.
Good ways to set the mood include fresh bed sheets and dim lighting, candles are always a good way to create a relaxing, erotic atmosphere. Playing some calming transcendent music and lighting incense activate all the senses.
Oil is a necessity for massage, creating a sensual and indulgent feel for your partner. It is recommended to use specially-designed massage oil or a 100% natural oil if this is more your vibe. Good ideas include coconut oil and olive oil, but you can get scented massage oils in many major retailers.
An alternative suggestion is to use massage candles, formulated to melt into a body-safe wax that can come in direct contact with skin. This gives a different dimension to the massage and will open the door to further experimentation.
As tantric massage relies so heavily on the mind-body-soul connection, it is important to prepare mentally as well as physically. Being in a calm, centered mindset is vital to enjoy both giving and receiving. If you find this hard, we recommend sitting alone in a quiet space and focus on deep breathing, as this will calm you.
You can add a new dimension to your experience by relinquishing control to your partner. Wear a blindfold as you are being massaged to heighten your other senses and create a more intense experience.
The tantric massage begins with you and your partner sat naked on the floor facing each other, in whatever position you feel comfortable. Stare into your partner’s eyes for at least 5 minutes - you are likely to feel awkward at first but persevere as once this fades, you will have a strong connection to one another.
A good place to start is on your partner’s back. Get them to lie on their front in a comfortable position and coat your hands in your oil of choice. Rub your hands together to ensure the oil is close to body temperature and then begin to massage your partners back. Start in their lower back and rub your hands gently but firmly up their spine, along their shoulders and down to their butt cheeks.
When their back is sufficiently covered in oil and they are beginning to relax, continue to run your fingers down the spine, massaging from the buttocks and lower spine all the way up to the neck. Run your fingers across their shoulders, down the arms and hands. Repeat this motion at least 5 times, being sure you are communicating with your partner at all times. Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback! This section of the massage should take between 20 and 30 minutes and ensure you use plenty of oil.
Get your partner to flip over and lie on their back and repeat the massage process on the front of their body. Ensure you cover the entire body, even the feet. Feet are a major erogenous zone and should not be passed over. Each finger and toe should get a massage, so your partner feels like they are truly the center of your world. Pay attention to the breasts and stomach of your partner, as these are incredibly vulnerable areas and are the source of personal healing. This should last a further 20 minutes.
During this time, experiment with different touch intensities and motions - don’t be afraid to try.
A lingam massage is not the same as a hand job. There are 5 areas of pleasure on the lingam - the glands, frenulum, shaft, balls, and perineum (taint). This massage should be slow and lingering, and it’s important to keep an eye on your partner’s arousal. If things are heating up too quickly, you can always move back to massaging the body for a few minutes.
A good idea is to massage your partner’s taint gently with 2 fingers, as this is a key pleasure point for penis-owners. There is a ‘sacred spot’, a pea-sized indentation that you can gently push inwards. This is said to expand orgasms and master ejaculatory control.
Gently squeeze the shaft from the base up with one hand, then repeat with the other. Alternate hands and directions to keep the sensations interesting. Some people recommend massaging the tip as if you were using a juicer.
Ensure you massage the public bone and gently massage the testicles with the palm of your hand. Cover your partner and leave them to rest for 5-10 minutes before continuing.
Pour some lubricant of your choice onto your partner’s vulva, enough to cover the outer lips. Gently massage the vulva and outer labia majora, taking care not to rush. Try squeezing gently with your thumb and index finger, sliding along the length of each lip.
In a circular fashion, gently stroke your partner’s clitoris going clockwise and anti-clockwise. Another idea is gently squeezing the clitoris. Take your time here.
Slowly insert your right hand’s middle finger into the vagina with your palm facing upwards. It is vital to use your right hand as the Tantric belief is that the right hand is positively charged with chakras and genitalia are negatively charged.
Experiment with different finger movements, including ‘come here’ motions as if you are trying to feel behind the bellybutton. The female ‘sacred spot’ is in the spongy tissue behind the pubic bone.
To kick things up a notch, use two fingers or use your right thumb to massage the clitoris while your left-hand massages the rest of the body. Don’t worry if they orgasm, continue gently, and allow your partner to ride the wave.
When done, slowly remove your hands and allow your partner time to rest before continuing.
This pose helps align your energy with your partner. Sit cross-legged on a mat and your partner will sit over your thighs and cross their ankles behind you.
Engage your abs and lower back muscles to ensure you are both sat straight and in alignment. Eyes can be open or closed but you should focus on your breathing.
Sit up straight facing your partner with your knees touching, the crowns of your heads facing the sky. Both place your left arms behind your backs and extend your right.
Hold your partner’s left hand with your right and get your partner to do the same. Both of your bodies will twist to accommodate for this. Gently continue to twist in synchronization and ensure you are communicating constantly. Hold for a few minutes, then repeat on the other side.
Make your partner lie on their back with pillows under the head and hips.
Spread their legs and bend their knees slightly to allow for easy access.
Have your partner lie on their back with pillows supporting their head and hips.
This will also force the hips upwards and allow easy access to the yoni.